


We're still okay though, aren't we?

by AmbecaWatson



Series: Not your typical Alpha [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Biological Racism, F/F, F/M, Gender Issues, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Violence, Omega Castiel, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-04-29 13:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5129960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbecaWatson/pseuds/AmbecaWatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4340528">Not your typical Alpha</a>    following Dean and Cas throughout their long period of separation and their further journeys to make their world a better place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I've finally picked this back up and I'm doing this as my NaNoWriMo project, meaning I will finish within the month of November and bring a story that is at least 50k words long. Chapters will be uploaded as soon as I'm sure I won't have to go back and change them anymore.  
> Expect also to hear from other characters again, such as Sammy and Charlie in their childlike first person narrative, or Mary and her way to emancipation, along with the marathon biological study of Eleanor Visyak.

The new school year started for everyone. Dean’s second year at high school brought slight changes to their routine. The twins now came over alone from their building and Jo was always early for lunch because she didn’t have an education class yet. The healing betas and Eleanor had ascertained the school that they saw clear evidence for Jo presenting as an alpha in a few months, but Alistair wouldn’t have it. 

Last year, he had grudgingly admitted some girls in the pre-alpha group, but none of them had presented as alpha in the end, so he didn’t want to bother with amending his lessons so that possible female alphas had the use of educational videos too.

He wasn’t gonna accept Jo into the group and that was his final word. However, he repented when Ellen had marched up to the school and had given him a proper dressing down in front of the whole school. She may have kept her mouth shut when Dean had wanted it that way, but no way was she gonna let her daughter have less of an education because her teacher was bigoted. 

Jo groaned when she was told that she was gonna be accepted into pre-alpha after all, but Alistair either was too lazy to find videos that depicted female alphas, or there weren’t any altogether, so Jo still had most of her periods before lunch free, unless Alistair set a task for the whole class. Jo would have been happier if she didn’t have to go to any class at all because Alistair had turned even worse with members of Dean‘s pack now, but it had been nice she said, when her mother shitfaced Alistair in front of the whole school, so she wasn’t gonna complain.

Sammy sometimes groaned about how much more homework he had to do in middle school, but his grades didn’t slip, so they figured he was coping just fine and would just have to get used to it. The younger girls sometimes laughed about him and then he bit back that they were gonna see for themselves next year and if they struggled, he wasn’t gonna help them. 

Cas kept them updated on his courses and life and everyone knew better than to disturb Dean on his weekly Saturday night video dates. When they weren’t alone, he’d chat with Cas on the computer in Bobby’s office, or the one in the back room of the roadhouse, so that everyone could check in and have conversations with Cas as well. Saturday night though, it was always just the two of them, Dean had taken to calling it videosexting, because that was essentially what they did. 

Cas also told them that he took 7 courses in his first semester, and everyone had been worried that he was taking too much on. The average for students was 4 or if one was particularly eager, 5. Cas quieted their doubts though and told them that the courses were easy for him, it was very basic introductory biology which he already knew. Besides, when he took more courses now, he would maybe finish his degree sooner. 

Dean also learned that studying was more expensive for omegas than for any other secondary gender. The universities wanted to get as much money as possible out of them, because they weren’t sure how many semesters of tuition they would get from them in total, in the end. It could always be that during the next semester an omega got mated or fell pregnant and wasn’t allowed in anymore. 

The most of the financial burden was stemmed by Cas’ former adoptive parents. They were quite rich and didn’t have anyone else to spend it on, but everyone of Dean’s pack supplied some money for Cas as well. The Roadhouse, garage and Crowley’s used car business threw off money enough for everyone now and they could afford helping Cas through college, though Bobby grumbled that he hoped that not too many of the younger kids would be omegas, because the full tuition was crazy expensive. 

It would cost enough to help Meg through school, because her former pack wouldn‘t help her in any way so the elder ones already laid down money for her studies and Meg herself started working at Rufus‘ cinema to fill her college fund as well. Bobby especially wanted to get all of the young ones a good education and he saved every penny they didn’t really need and put it into bank accounts that continually grew. He had done so ever since the Winchesters had come here after the fire and his daughters had been born. It wasn’t even a possibility in his mind that any of the children in his pack wouldn’t go to college if they wanted to, which once again brought Dean to observe how awesome Bobby was.

Dean’s new alpha teacher was ok too as he discovered after only one week of being back in school. He didn’t show them all kinds of boring videos and he wasn’t out for Dean’s head either. He was putting more emphasis on the expertise of sexual activity, explaining to them how they could receive the most pleasure from their sexual encounters. Dean absorbed everything and told Cas all about it on their videosexting dates. To say that Dean’s new alpha lessons pleased them very much, was putting it mildly.

“And then you do that with your hips,” Dean finished another call to Cas, both panting from seeing each other exposed and imagining what pleasure it could bring if Dean really did that thing he showed Cas again at his request.

“I can’t wait to feel this for real,” Cas smiled, his hand reaching out to stroke the screen where he saw Dean’s face. 

“Me too,” Dean grinned, a little pained as he thought about the distance separating them right now. “So anything new before we log off? Your courses still not too much for you?”

“No it’s all fine, like I told you before. You could come join me right now and we’d still both be top of the class.”

“It’s almost three years ‘til I’m finished,” Dean reminded Cas. “But I bet with Eleanor’s work and everything else, it’ll go by quick, or maybe I‘m just hoping that for both our sakes. But we‘re gonna get through this, right? We‘re gonna be okay?”

“Of course, Dean. We’ll find a way to make it work.”


	2. 99 Problems

Dean

“Going back to school is lame,” Dean groaned the next morning on the bus.

“Chin up, Winchester. It won’t be so bad as all this. It will keep you busy until loverboychester is back anyway.”

“Will you quit it with the stupid nicknames already?” Dean groused, feeling a pang about Jo just assuming that Cas was as good as a Winchester already after their ‘shotgun wedding’ before he left for college.

“Ah, Dean-o,” Meg drawled from where she had draped herself parallel to them over an entire bench because no one outside of their pack wanted to sit with her after falling out with her mother and joining the Winchesters. “You’re so cute, I almost puked in my mouth right now.”

“You two are really twisted sisters, you know that?” Dean fumed at both Meg and Jo right now but he was actually glad that Jo hadn’t abandoned her standard seat next to him on the bus to sit with Meg, even though he had to endure both of them now. It would have reminded him too much of when Cas had sat in her place if it had stayed empty and he’d feel lonely without her teasing presence, poking his arm until he groaned and was so annoyed with her that he stopped thinking about his absent mate for a minute.

“Sooooo, we’re back in school for over a week now and we haven’t done anything fun!” Meg said, crossing her legs in her reclined position and grinning as if she was thinking about the best way to waste some evenings and torture Dean while they were at it.

“The movies? Theme park? Oh how about that new pizza place?” Jo suggested, and Dean flinched again, thinking of all the times he’d been to the cinema or other places with Cas and was now faced with going there without him. “He’ll allow you to have fun, won’t he?” Jo added, patting Dean’s mistreated arm as if that would make up for her knowing exactly what he was thinking right now and seeing exactly how pathetic he felt.

“I’ve thought of something else too, to be honest. My drama teacher told me about this musical group that does all kinds of cool performances,” Meg added as if she handed Dean a big present right now.

“Musicals? I don’t sing,” Dean negated categorically.

“That’s too bad, Dean-o, because I put yours, Jo’s and my name down already. If you wanna quit, you’ll be out of it during next term only,” she grinned and Jo giggled mischievously.

“Don’t take it too hard, Losechester. It‘ll be fun.”

“I hate each and everyone of you,” he groused even when Jo captured his arm and Meg squeezed in with them too, capturing his other arm and both putting their heads on his shoulders.

“You don’t hate us,” Jo said with her best comforting voice.

“Okay fine, I don’t. But I may forget that once I’ll have to roar out Sound of Music.”

“But you’d make such a cute Maria! Wouldn’t he, Jo?” Meg grinned.

“Oh, he would. He’d totally pull off the frock.”

“Can you two just shut up now, before I become guilty of double lupocide?”

“As if that’s a thing,” Meg said, frowning now because they all knew that it wasn’t a criminal offence to kill members of one’s pack.

When their ancestors had come to the continent of America, they had wanted to express themselves in a way that they could not have done in the old world. They decided that every man was gonna be equal, but of course the ratification of the declaration of independence was only brought about by male alphas, who conveniently forgot to draw up laws for protecting any other of the six genders that there were.

America thus had become the land of milk and honey for one gender only and had become the bane of all other 5 and what was more: Through it‘s powerful position in the world of trade and politics, this conviction had spread throughout the entire world, until the view of everything that was concerned with the 5 oppressed genders was biased by total alpha supremacy.

When they arrived at school, they once more came face to face with the evidence of what could happen when alphas went unchecked in society. The very same group of alphas that had assaulted Dean were now after an omega girl who ran into the bus as she screamed for help and then collapsed on the pavement.

Dean grew angry when he saw that Alistair was one of her pursuers. “Enough,” he growled as he got off and stepped into the teacher’s way, dominance oozing from the way he stood and faced the charging mob without even flinching.

“Out of the way, Winchester.”

“You’d like that, would you?” Dean gave back fiercely. “But I won’t, so you can just move on before I have to force you. Do you think you’d win if you fought me, huh?”

Alistair’s eyes narrowed, but he knew he had no chance against an alpha who was as young and strong as Dean was.

“This isn’t over. We’ll be back for you, girl,” he said threateningly despite the fact that he had surrendered.

“Are you ok?” Dean asked, scenting the air around the girl unobtrusively, smelling fear and omega heat. He grit his teeth, his alpha pull dulled by his suppressants, so he could help the girl up without too great a struggle.

“What’s your name, sweetie?” Jo asked.

“Lenore,” the girl answered, and everyone saw that her lip was broken and an angry bruise was forming on her temple.

“Who did that to you?” Meg asked, coming closer and calming Lenore with her familiar omega smell.

“Gordon. He was the one who discovered me, beat me and then ripped at my clothes. By then other alphas had smelled me too and they growled at each other. I escaped, barely. They were just catching up to me again when you helped me. Thanks, by the way. I don‘t think I‘ve said that before,” she said shyly, holding on to Meg to steady herself.

“It’s ok, no need to thank us. Nobody should have to go through something like they were planning on doing to you.”

“I can bring you to the hospital this afternoon if you want to. Suppressants are a magical thing, y’know? I take them, and Dean too. In the mean time,” Meg dug through her backpack for a while until she had found her lunch box.

“What is that awful stench?” Charlie, who came over with the twins and Sam right now, seeing that the danger was over, asked. Nothing would have kept her in place if she had not known about Dean‘s protective nature and how he would have gotten distracted at once if she or Sam had intervened.

“It’s all kinds of nasty. Garlic, onions, leek and other goodies. It may not taste all that yummy but it masks for your smell for a few hours, and um…,” she pressed a small, white, foil sealed object into Lenore’s hand. “Use this, it will soak up the excess heat… uh… stuff.”

“But, I can’t use… that,” Lenore blushed about the plug-it-up heat tampon in her hand. “Mom says omegas die if they don’t get knocked up and actually start to bleed.”

“Do you really think an omega is pregnant all the time?” Meg asked quietly, so as not to scare Lenore with the new information she was gonna receive now. “Look at me. I damned my heats up all the time, using this and suppressants. I’m still fine, aren’t I? And Dean’s mother had her last pup 11 years ago and she is still fertile. She hasn’t died either, and neither will you. But you might, if Alistair, Gordon and his cronies come back to finish what they started. They’re not gonna let go when your heat is satiated, they will tear at you until they’re finished,” Meg told the girl things that she should have learned in omega education, but which never made it to the curriculum because of alpha-made laws.

“I don’t want that,” Lenore whispered.

“Obviously you don’t want that, and we’ll make sure that it doesn’t happen,” Dean said. “You can eat Meg’s disgusting sandwich and then get a more permanent solution later.”

Lenore nodded and while they finally went into the building, they arranged their schedules around escorting her from class to class so that she always was accompanied at all times and she at with them at lunch as well.

Gordon and the others came close throughout the day, but Meg’s sandwich had done a miracle and obscured Lenore’s scent enough for everyone pinch their nose at her and lie in waiting if the awful smell would disappear.

“We did a good thing today,” Dean said when the day was finally over and he, Meg and Lenore walked to the hospital, he himself checking in with Eleanor who gleefully told him that Charlie‘s website had brought a new proband for their study to the Lawrence Healing Facility.

 

Cas

“C’mon, Cas. We need to get out of this damn dorm,” Andy came into Cas’ bedroom where he was studying once again, feeling like he hadn’t done anything else during the last weeks.

Still he declined: “I can’t. I have another lecture tonight and I have to study for this test tomorrow.”

“But we should go out and have some fun once in a while, shouldn’t we? Just go to a diner, see something else than those damn lecture halls all day, and see the restricted alpha areas, which we’ll never be allowed in.”

“And how will this be different if we go out? The cafés and restaurants run rigorous policies as well, and you’ve made sure to find every establishment that serves omegas in our first week here, there is nothing new to be discovered.”

“But it’s so boring!” Andy exclaimed, his need for drug use evident right now, something must have happened to get him all pent up again. He had kept his promise to Cas and had not brought any more drugs into their dorm after that first time when they had met before the beginning of semester.

“I know, ok?” Cas said, his frustration rising more and more, through Andy‘s palpable aggravation. “There isn’t much I can do about that now, I have to study. But let’s meet some people tomorrow. And it would be good if you would study as well.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be able to study either, if you’d just found out you got a twin and he’s a damn alpha, when you yourself are nothing but a worthless omega.”

“What?” Cas asked, Andy now having his full attention as he sat down in the second chair in Cas’ room which stood next to the desk.

“Yeah, turns out my mother gave birth to twins, and put both of us up for adoption. I spent my first months in an orphanage, because my mother didn’t have a pack and couldn’t bear the shame to have birthed without a mate and the shame is even bigger now because it turns out we were born uneven.”

Cas nodded to that, knowing that being born uneven was very rare with twins, but it was definitely something that happened even though people thought there was a huge stigma to it. There were times when the secondary gender of twins didn’t correlate and people considered it to be a sign of weakness of the birthmother, and shunned the kids too.

He thought of Eleanor right this second and what their study could possibly do for Andy in this situation. His curiosity peaked, he wondered how things would be if she checked Andy and his twins biology and saw for herself what had caused the difference between them before he remembered that he should actually talk to Andy more before he jumped to any conclusions.

“So how did you find that out?”

“By the guy coming up to me and introducing himself to me. Did you know that he had the actual nerve to say that we were perfect for each other? I think that dude had some serious issues, he wanted to claim me for Christ’s sake!”

“What? Your brother wanted to mate with you? Why?”

“Because I’m an omega, and he’s nuts, ok? Says he thinks we belong together and we should never have been split up.”

“That sounds… unusual. Did he say why?”

“No, course not. I hightailed out of the hall where he cornered me.”

“So, you don’t wanna get to know him at all? He is your brother after all. And it might be good to test-”

“No, don’t you dare say it. Your study and your testing stuff, yeah I know. I’ve been thinking about it too. Figure out if he‘s just a nutjob and I turn like that too. Hey, perhaps all alphas have a general fault in them and just wait to turn insane.”

“No!” Cas burst out, his thoughts turning to Dean immediately and a hurtful pang made it hard to breathe.

“Sorry, dude,” Andy said, obviously thinking about the very same thing. “It’s just something I like to say, you know? After being told time and time again that I was worth nothing, I tend to lash out. Oh damn, perhaps I’m the nutty one, holy fucking crap,” Andy seemed to collapse and hid his face in his hands in aggravation.

“I’m… sorry?” Cas suggested, not knowing what to say when someone found out they had a relative that they hadn’t known about and the first meeting of said person went less than satisfactorily.

“Thanks,” Andy groaned through his hands. “But seriously, have you ever heard of a brother suggesting that?”

“No, I haven’t. Though I don’t think there is a law against it. Why do you insist on going out if you know that your brother is after you?”

“Because I actually wanted to run away right now and I figured you’d come with me and I completely lost my head. It just seems so weird, ok? Would you come with me if I met him again?”

“I will, but let’s just focus on studying right now, take your mind of things and you can come with me to my lecture so you’re not alone. After that, we‘ll meet your brother.”

“Ok,” his room mate answered demurely, not really keen on studying, but not wanting to be alone either. So he started to quiz Cas for his test and considerably calmed down by reciting facts himself, his head clearing as they went over facts and formulas.

“Do you really think omegas are worthless?” Cas pondered a few minutes after they had finished, when Andy hadn’t moved at all and just stared at his shoes after he handed the test questions back to Cas.

“What? No, I just said that because everyone thinks so. I think we should be treated better, but the way I see it, I’m really losing hope here.”

“Then you really should get yourself tested. Who knows what we may find out. You‘re probably almost alike in everything but secondary gender. That would make you different about your worth, right?”

“Maybe. But maybe we’ll also find out that the omega twin is the defective one.”

“I don’t know,” Cas shrugged, not thinking that his roommate was in any way less than other people, but it was obviously different for him since he had never been valued or loved since he presented as omega.

“I’m trying to help you,” Cas went on. “The way I see it, we have a stereotype here that needs debunking. Did you know that our first case is an unborn baby with two biological mothers? The birthing mother is far along in her pregnancy already and our consulting alpha physician is already trying to make a case for the baby to even be legally declared as theirs. An unprecedented case, but it will definitely stir up some change in society, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, it might actually. But Cas, do you really think that kind of progressive thing will be well received? You and yours could get into trouble because of this.”

“I really don’t understand you,” Cas said short temperedly, Andy‘s whining too much for him right now. “On the one hand you want omegas to have a better life, but the minute someone does something to change even a bit, you… you chicken out!” Cas grew loud towards the end, his entire body hurting from missing Dean so much as he talked about their study, their situation in general and was faced with Andy’s inherent hopelessness. Were they fooling themselves? Would things ever change, if even people who were laid back like Andy became terrified and doubting their own self-worth through something upsetting their miserable routine?

“I guess I do,” Andy admitted, pulling Cas back out of his own thoughts, but adding something to the point of what he had pondered about.

“Change is scary, man. I’m not cut out for this. Can’t wrap my head around the whole thing. Can you quiz me for the test now before the lecture?” he made a peace offering, wanting to calm his nerves again.

“Yes, absolutely,” Cas answered, forgetting his misery for a bit as he quizzed him and Andy knew every answer without having to think about it.

 

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. Of course not all alphas have a natural deficiency even though most of them are so pigheaded that you could think stubbornness is a general character flaw in them,” Andy said when they walked to Cas’ late evening lecture.

“I know, but Dean is different. He’s not like other alphas.”

“I should think so. I don’t think any other alpha would fall for you and still not claim you but allow you to go to college for long years.”

“Dean’s not allowing me anything,” Cas bristled up, the whole day and conversation straining his nerves very much. “We talked about it and we decided we’d do this together.”

“Hey, Cas? Don’t you think it’s a bit entitled to speak of a ‘we‘? Everyone knows there’s only us and them, nothing in between.”

“I know that’s what it is like almost everywhere, but it’s not the case with us. Dean’s pack is different. We’re a family, even though I haven’t been part of that pack for that long, I can safely say that. But if you see it all in black and white that’s hardly helping to improve my mood.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just incredibly annoyed right now and it’s not getting better when you say that your life is so wonderful, with your perfect pack and your perfect ‘almost’ mate who will wait for you and I have nothing but a loony brother and a whacked out birth mother who cried when I saw her for the first time, but not of happiness but out of self pity,” Andy set out to explain that he had met his mother too, because his brother Ansem had flushed her out, living in this city. She had welcomed her sons first, with tears about meeting them, and then when she scented the air and noticed that they were of two different genders, she had completely lost it.

“I’m sorry. Guess I don’t have any experience with that kind of situation so it’s hard for me to understand,” Cas said as they took their places in the lecture hall.

“Yeah, I’m sorry too. I really shouldn’t have been so whacked out, but it’s such a huge thing to learn about yourself, y’know? I just wanted to have some fun with studying, since I don’t know what else to do with my life. Nobody wanted me as a mate so far, and since I’m nobody’s fool I figured I’d give this a studying thing a go. And now it turns out that I actually enjoy it and made it my dream and things and through something like this,” he seemed freaked out again, “it could all go to shit right now”

“I don‘t think anyone is ever ready for something like this to happen,” Cas contemplated even as his anatomy lecture started and later, when it was over and his folder with notes a bit thicker, he picked right up on those thoughts as they walked back to their dorm to get their coats and meet Andy‘s brother.

No one chose to be born or develop into this or that, and it was absolutely unfair to judge someone based on things that they couldn’t even help.

He still considered this, even as they walked to the nearest coffee shop that accepted mixed clintele and Andy elbowed Cas when he caught sight of his twin.

“That’s him.”

Cas followed his gaze and saw a grinning young man lifting his cup at them and patting the stools next to him.

“Let’s go back,” Andy said to Cas, turning towards the door again.

“Wait, perhaps we can figure out what’s going on with him. And have him get on board with being tested.”

“Are you crazy? He’s evil.”

“I‘m sure he‘s not,” Cas sighed. “And even if he were, we’d have to figure that out and see if it’s hereditary what could happen to you.”

“And for that I have to talk to him, do I?”

“That would be helpful, yes. Don‘t worry, I will be with you the entire time.”

“Didn’t you want to study some more?” Andy asked, staring longingly at the door.

“No, I’ve finished. We‘ve both finished and now we‘re here to talk to your brother. Just relax.”

“Ok,” Andy shook himself, as if he was getting ready for battle and both of them walked over.

“Ansem, this is Cas. He’s my roommate.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ansem grinned and held out his hand for Cas. He shook it and while he sat down, he raised a questioning eyebrow at Andy who gave him a ‘you’ll see’ nod.

“So, how’ve you been?” Ansem asked.

“In the hours since I’ve learned about your existence or during my entire life before that?” was the aggressive comeback.

“Andy,” Cas said quietly, as if to say he should behave himself a little better.

“Well, I’m sorry,” he bristled up immediately. “Let’s hear it from him then. Tell Cas how you want to claim me and shit.”

“That’s because we belong together,” Ansem said immediately. “We’re closer than most people ever will be. We shared a womb, so it’s only logical that we should be together in life as well.”

“No it isn’t. Because we shared nothing but a womb and that doesn’t make you my family, or my brother, or anything at all.”

“Well, luckily I can do whatever I want because I’m an alpha, and you’re an omega. You will be lucky to have me for a mate, you’ll see. I‘ll take care of you.”

“You know that that is biologically not to be advised, right?” Cas spoke up now. “You share at least 75% of the same gene material and besides, it doesn’t look like Andy has the faintest interest in wanting something to do with you.”

“That doesn’t matter, he can’t choose. I do the choosing.”

“Do you really think he’ll like you if you treat him like that? I mean you came here to get to know your sibling, right? You obviously felt a need to get to know your brother and to get him to like you. How will it help either of you if you force him to mate just so he’d stay with you?”

“I just wanna take care of Andy, and I don’t see any other way to do that than to claim him myself so that he’s always safe,” Ansem let them see this motives for wanting to choose something as unusual as this and Andy’s mouth opened when he heard actual concern for his wellbeing out of Ansem’s words.

“But you see, I don’t wanna be claimed, and certainly not by my brother. I would lose my place here!” Andy’s upset about everything bubbling up again. “If you’d knew me at all, you’d know that I need this, and I wanna do this. And I don’t know you, and if you want to force me into this, I don’t even wanna get to know you.”

“I’m sorry,” Ansem grumbled, seeing Andy‘s position and admitting that he had been wrong to suggest something so radical without inviting objection or different opinion. “I made a mess of everything. I just wanted you to know that I care about you, and figured you were as lonely as a child as me and you’d maybe want this.”

“No, I don’t,” Andy shook his head. “But I’m willing to start over if you stop talking about claiming and mating. So, hi. My name’s Andy, and I’m your brother.”

Cas sighed, ordering a coffee, because it was surely gonna be a long evening. At least he noticed how Andy had visibly relaxed right now that the immediate danger was averted and Cas couldn’t help but think that Andy was right. He was not cut out for conflict and as the evening went on, Cas’ thoughts drifted off to Dean over and over, wondering if he was tough enough to go on without Dean for as long as they had to, or if he would fall apart at the first obstacle, much like Andy had.


	3. We could be heroes

Dean

“Have you seen Lenore around?” Dean asked the others over lunch.

“No, not since that day we helped her,” Meg answered with a frown.

“I don’t get this,” Jo shook her head, scanning the cafeteria for a sign of the freshman girl, which they hadn‘t seen in over a week.

“Perhaps she’s home sick?”

“Yeah, let’s stop by her house before we go to musical practice,” Jo suggested.

Dean nodded, too preoccupied to even pretend to object to musicals anymore. The few sessions of practice had shown him that to his continued horror, that he loved singing.

Cas had laughed when he had told him, his face in his hands in embarrassment.

“There is nothing wrong about enjoying this,” he heard Cas’ voice, then he peeked through his fingers and saw Cas still smiling at him.

“So you don’t think it’s… I dunno, unalpha-y?”

“Dean? Are you seriously asking me now if you should stop doing something that brings you joy just because it may be considered ‘unalpha-y‘ by some?” Cas asked incredulously and if Dean wasn’t was mistaken, he had looked too shocked to be the emotion just warranted by their little conversation.

“What’s going on, Cas? Something up?”

“Yes,” Cas had sighed and then told Dean all about what had happened with Andy and his long lost brother.

“So… when I asked just now if something was ‘unalpha-y’ you looked panicked… because you thought I’d suddenly found the ‘proper alpha pride’,” he added quoty fingers. “That what this is about?”

“It’s not your fault,” Cas said. “It’s what you’re being confronted with everywhere and though we both despise the way things are, sometimes like with this, it comes up. You shouldn’t feel shame over this. Though it may come up initially.”

“Internalised alpha supremacy?” Dean suggested, horrified by his own reflection in the webcam picture when he realised how deeply even he was influenced by the general state of things. “I’ll be damned.”

“You can’t help it. But you can overcome it,” Cas seemed to suggest more than to say.

“Hell yeah. I’ll sing the shit outta Into the Woods, I promise.”

“Good,” Cas had smiled fondly and afterwards they had talked about their new case and how Dean wanted to wait for Cas to see the new patient’s testing during winter break. Afterwards their call had turned to a more private nature and Dean found that he had absentmindedly smiled about the rest of the conversation when Charlie snapped her fingers in front of his face.

“Earth to brother.”

“Huh?”

“You were out of it, and I don’t even wanna know where you went, but lunch is over. You need to get your books.”

“Thanks, squirt. Don’t know what I’d do without you,” he kissed the top of her head and pressed her close once, before she hopped off back to her building and Dean went on to his locker, alpha edu the next thing on the schedule.

“Hey, Dean.”

“Hi, Balthazar. What are we learning today?”

“The art of teasing,” his teacher replied with a saucy smile.

“Nice one,” Dean grinned and they fistbumped before he sat down with a big grin.

Behind him Dean heard a put upon groan that must obviously come from Gordon or one of his friends. Most of his alpha edu classmates didn’t much care for the change, most of them grumbled about wanting Alistair back, but Dean also noticed that they eagerly listened to the information Balthazar was giving them, but maybe teasing as a whole topic wasn’t something that they would soak up like a sponge for once.

‘Delayed pleasure’ as Balthazar put down the first note on the chalk board, was nothing that would ever be well received by alphas that were used to getting what they wanted.

As if to underline this, Gordon mumbled into Dean’s ear: “Seen your little friend lately?”

“None of your business,” Dean fumed back before focusing back on the lesson, a queasy feeling in his gut about what might have happened to Lenore. She had told them that her mother hadn’t taught her anything about what her body did once she presented and she had refused her any suppressants, saying there was the devil in them.

With an even more ominous feeling, Dean wondered what happened once her mother found out that Lenore took suppressants now, and cleaned up her heat excess. Was it possible that something happened to her, even at home? With even more horror seeping through him he remembered yesterday’s conversation about lupocide and wondered if people were capable of harming their family if they didn’t lead their life as they dictated.

Yes, he finally decided, it was possible.

 

Mary

The kids came home later than usual and Mary was beginning to worry about them. She crossed through the roadhouse several times and wondered where they were when she finally saw Jo coming in and explain to her that they had wanted to see how Lenore was doing and had been ordered off the property by her mother without finding out anything.

“Dean’s pretty worried,” Jo quipped, as she threw her hair over her shoulders and got an apron to help Ellen cut potatoes for the dinner rush. “You can go, I’ll help mom.”

“Thanks Jo,” Mary answered and hung her own apron before rushing out to find her eldest.

“I’ve got you,” she heard a voice as Josie jumped out of a bush behind her and startled her. “Sorry, auntie Mary. I thought you were Charlie.”

“You’re playing hide and seek?”

“No, it’s called sneaky ninja. It‘s like hide and seek, only you have to sneak up on the person who‘s not hiding. If they‘re scared, you won.”

“Charlie’s idea?” Mary smiled.

“Yeah,” Josie giggled and rushed off to find another hiding spot.

When she finally reached her house, she saw Sam sitting in the kitchen, pouring over an ancient looking book.

“Hey, Sammy. Whatcha reading?”

“It’s a joint edition of the Iliad and the Odyssey and I’m trying to figure out if they were really written by the same author.”

“Is there a debate about that?”

“No, but perhaps there should be. I tend to find out if they’re really written in the same style.”

“Very important research,” Mary nodded. “That’s why you’re not out playing sneaky ninja too?”

“Yes, and I wanna be here if Dean decides to go out and search for Lenore again. He shouldn’t be on his own if he does that.”

“Don’t you worry about that,” Mary rubbed Sam’s head which her youngest boy always pretended to hate, but leaned into nonetheless before Mary moved on and found her eldest broodingly staring at the ceiling in his room.

“I heard you had no luck finding Lenore?” she started because that seemed to really preoccupy Dean right now.

“No, we haven’t. Mom, what if something happened to her?” Dean sat up, all eager to talk now. “Maybe she’s dead. Her mother maybe didn’t like us helping her with this and the way she reacted when we asked about her. It’s like we were the enemy or something. And how she refused her any care before that. I don‘t know, I‘m just worried.”

“Would it make you feel better if I tried to talk to her mother?”

“Yeah, it would. But I don’t want you to get into trouble because of this. It’s not safe.”

“I can take care of myself. Seriously, if any member of this family ever worried more for themselves than for others we wouldn’t have a problem. I’ll manage, ok?" she added when Dean still looked worried. "And why don’t you go out to talk to Sam? He’s being too studious for his own good.”

“The little geek,” Dean chuckled, hugging his mom shortly before he challenged his brother to a match of pacman on his computer to get his nose out of his 4th reread of works that had been clearly determined to both be by the same author thousands of years ago.

 

Mary took the Impala over to Lenore’s house and knocked against the front door decisively.

“What do you want?” a sourly woman that she barely recognised as being part of Ruby’s crew way back in the days of Dean’s kindergarten days.

Time had not done her much good, her complexion was doughy and her belly seemed perpetually swollen and beat-up through too many pregnancies.

“I was just wondering how your daughter was. My son and his friends helped her recently and she hasn’t been back at school since. I wondered what was going on.”

“ ‘s none of your business,” was the mumbled reply before the woman tried to shut the door, but Mary stopped her feeble attempt.

“We can do this the easy way and you just tell me what’s going on, or I can come in and annoy the hell out of you until I get what I want.”

“You bitch!” the woman screamed.

“Thank you,” Mary grinned and stood there immovably, Lenore’s mother just ogling her now that her insult hadn’t done any good.

“She’s gone, ok? My alpha and my older boys took her away.”

“Where to? Where to, you hear me?” Mary actually shook her so that her stringy hair fluttered around her head in a greasy twirl.

“Kansas River, you dumb slut. Now let go of me.”

“Oh, you bet I will. I might catch something otherwise,” Mary said dismissively, leaving as soon as she got the information she wanted.

“If they had any mind, they killed the stupid child. Omegas on suppressants are worth nothing,” she obviously referred to Mary as well.

“You know what I think? I think a mother who abandons her child and does not want something better for her than popping out a pup every year is worth _less_ than nothing. Just look at you, you’re a ruined woman! Can you actually lift one of your pups without your body putting you in a world of hurt? Perhaps that will have to be my solace. That you chose your hell wilfully. Can you honestly say that you love your life and your pack? No? Because _I_ can!” she ended with a scream and drove off, her hands still slightly shaking even though she was proud of herself for having kept her nerves so far.

She thought about the long years of struggle that lay behind her ever since John had walked out on them because she didn’t wanna imagine what Lenore might look like once she found her.

She thought about building the roadhouse, striking a friendship with Ellen and how their pack had grown together. She thought about the first time she had actually bitchslapped Ruby. It had been the first day of school for Dean and Mary had just lost it when Ruby had wanted to start in what she had succeeded in doing during kindergarten.  
Later Mary had regretted hitting her over her bad mouthing, because it had brought her the reputation of being unstable, but after a while, she actually welcomed how omegas left and right flinched away in case the nutty Winchester woman lashed out again.

For a while, Mary had thought about calling herself Campbell again, but then she had thought about little Mary Campbell entering into a relationship and being terrified of her alpha, and decided that she was proud to be Mary Winchester now. It was the name of her kids and the name she had worn when she had reached liberty and confidence, so she had kept it.

As she drove closer to the river, her thoughts couldn’t remain with her life’s achievements anymore as she turned on the upper beam headlights because it grew dark already.

She got out, wondering where they might have taken her, and luckily for her, they had been too lazy to even obstruct what they were doing because she found the broken frame of Lenore immediately, lying by the side of the river, only barely breathing.

“Oh no. No no no,” she whispered, bringing out a flashlight to see the damage done to her more clearly. “Hey,” she just whispered. “I’m here to help you. Can you speak?”

A meek whisper was the answer as Mary lifted the girl up into her arms and carried her over to the car.

“It’s alright, I’ll get you to the healing facility.”

Lenore seemed very weak, and couldn’t stand on her own as Mary let her down and opened the shotgun door for her.

In the end, she had to lift her in, thankful that she couldn’t see the full extent of her injuries in the dim light of the car as she turned around and drove with neckbreaking speed until she came to a screeching halt outside of the main entrance of the healing facility.

“I need some help here,” he shouted and two betas rushed out to put the girl onto a stretcher to rush her into the E.R. . Mary only waited until she knew in which intensive care room she was gonna be treated before she ran off to alert Richard and Eleanor.

Charlie

Mom called to let us know that she had found Lenore, beaten up by her own father and brothers, nearly frozen to death by the Kansas river and that she was gonna stay with her until they had treated all her injuries.

She asked me to tell everyone, but that we kids should better not come to the hospital until the more obvious signs of what had happened to her had disappeared, though I understood that both her legs were broken and other bones too, and there was very much damage done to her face.

Dean wanted to go and see what they had done to her obviously, otherwise he wouldn’t be my pain in the ass big brother.

When he got back he was white as a sheet and said some very bad words which I’m gonna have to tell mom as soon as she gets home, though she might have heard them already because uncle Bobby and uncle Fergus were also cursing like that when they came over and cooked dinner for everyone that night.

After about two weeks in the hospital, Lenore came to stay with us for a while. We were reminded to always be careful with her because she had a trauma and was very wary of any male approaching her. She was even scared of Sammy which I find totally hilarious, because my dumb brother is so not scary at all, he‘s an awkward puppy.

What wasn’t so funny anymore though, was that a few weeks after she had come to us, her family showed up while we all were at school, trying to finish what they started, at least that’s what mom and Ellen told us later.

They had been in the roadhouse, doing their usual business when they heard loud screams and shouts from uncle Bobby’s house where we had put Lenore into the guest room and both of them actually beat them off the property with Sammy’s baseball bat and Dean's lacrosse stick. I wish I had seen them, but even only hearing about it, I really admire them. I saw Lenore’s dad later, his arm in a sling and a bandage around his head and I couldn’t help but think that he deserved much more than that.

After that, we decided that it wasn’t safe to have Lenore live here for much longer, and so Eleanor took her on one of her trips to the big city on the east coast where she sometimes goes and she and Adrienne found a good pack to care for Lenore. They are much like us, living differently and now she sends us postcards and letters about how happy she is where she’s now.

I’m glad we were able to help her, but I also keep thinking what an awful thing it is to beat up someone like that just because they’re different. I admire Lenore because even though she came here broken and very timid, she got back on her feet. I don't know if I could have done that if that had happened to me. And she’s always admired mom the most. She told me once that she compared my mom to hers, and really saw the difference it made if someone didn’t have pup after pup and let everyone trample on her.

Mom had told me that when she and dad broke up, she had rolemodels and wanted to be like auntie Ellen, or Eleanor. It’s nice to see that she’s passing this on to Lenore, though of course, she will always be _my_ biggest hero.


	4. Home shady home

Dean and Cas

When Cas came home for the winter break, Dean and Eleanor had already started the new case he had told Cas about before the whole Lenore thing happened. Dean had taken off on a weekend trip with Sammy and they had found an omega woman, far along in her pregnancy. Her name was Pamela and she would be the first to allow them do pre-natal testing on her baby.

Adrienne came to Lawrence for the first time and Dean immediately felt reminded of the ex-wife of Doctor Sexy, M.D., when the stunning looking red-headed woman strutted into the healing facility on high heels like she owned the place. Everyone looked after her with their mouths open and not even Jake, the idiot medical officer, thought about insulting her while she greeted Eleanor, Dean and Cas who had been here for three days filled with nothing but Dean.

Because after he had said hi to everyone, Dean had eagerly pulled him off into their apartment, pressing close and tumbling to the bed in a haze of finally being able to touch him again.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Dean rasped, pulling the clothes of Cas as if they offended him and grinding into him once they were both down to their boxers.

“Let’s keep those on, ok?” Cas moaned, humping him as well, letting him feel how hard he was.

“You want us to ruin them? Because that’s what’s gonna happen,” he groaned, working his hips over Cas and loving the feeling of his heated middle where he felt his hard cock through only one thin layer of fabric.

“Yes, let’s just do it. But don’t bite.”

“Of course not,” Dean moaned, happily moving and already being so close that he felt his orgasm approach, so he kissed Cas just so he wouldn’t be able to see his unmarred neck ready and longing for a mating bite.

“Fuck,” he panted, his knot swelling from how hard he was rubbing himself on Cas, and his teeth baring even as he slid his tongue into Cas’ mouth and came.

He enjoyed the rush he had only felt over videocalls before, finally experiencing it with Cas’ warm fingers stroking over his back and his barely there omega smell.

“You too,” he whispered when he was done, and rubbed his sullied underwear over Cas, whose breath hitched and Dean loved to watch him come apart as well, because Cas looked radiant during it.

Dean groaned now, not in sated arousal but in agony, thumping over the spot in Cas’ neck that was designated for the mating bite and he forced himself to look away, kiss him instead, until he noticed that he had bitten into his own tongue now.

“Ou ou ou,” he practically howled and held onto the hurting part, his fingers coming back out bloody.

“Are you hurt?” Cas rasped, holding onto Dean’s hips as he came down from his orgasm and could focus again.

“Is it bad?” Dean asked, sticking his tongue out for Cas to see the damage.

“A few teeth marks, nothing too bad, but I bet it’s gonna be swollen tomorrow.”

“We shouldn’t have taken the risk,” Dean muttered, his tongue hurting and it just dawning on him that this had been a very close call.

“We’re just gonna have to take it easier now,” Cas cooed, touching Dean as is he could never get enough of him and after a while kissing again, because Dean didn’t want to waste this opportunity to do so just because he couldn’t control his urges.

Better endure a little bit of pain than not to kiss him.

 

After a few days, Cas had decided that he didn’t want to spent all his winter break cooped up with Dean, it made it even more obvious that they couldn’t be around each other like they wanted to be. Their videosexting had added more desperation to their real-life kisses and caresses, but they never let go of their reserve again, pulling off each other with gasping breaths and once, Dean bit into his own arm in frustration when they had taken their heated cuddling a little too far again. The bite wasn’t bad, it hardly showed, but after that, they decided quality time with each other could also be had outside of the garage apartment.

Which was why they found themselves in the scrub room in sterile operational gear, surgical masks and caps the very next day. Cas was the most excited of all of them because usually he would only see a surgery on a person who was still alive when he started his residency. It didn’t matter that Adrienne didn’t really need either of them but they were excited to be allowed in while she punctured Pamela’s belly in one place to collect cells and other matter for testing, seeing if they could predict both genders of the unborn before the birth and before presentation.

The quick DNA test that Adrienne and Eleanor had developed showed that alphas, betas and omegas shared the same chromosomes, but they differed with respect to primary gender males having an y-shaped chromosome, which they already knew. But that there was another pair of chromosomes which determined which secondary gender the pup would have later on. They hadn’t yet found out how a child that should inherit alpha and omega traits from it’s parents could still present as beta, because all secondary gender genes looked exactly alike and it wasn‘t obvious how in particular it worked it‘s magic.

They had been completely stunned, because they couldn’t make out the reason why someone presented as this or the other, until Dean suggested that it was a gene with all alpha/beta/omega traits, but that it depended on other factors which one got activated.

Everyone had looked at Dean, seemingly a little shocked but the more they thought about it, the more it seemed probable. The only decoded information they had, was that the gene activated within the womb of the woman carrying the child, so the pre-natal development already determined the later secondary gender which was groundbreaking news. There was nothing in the child’s later upbringing that made them how they were, the secondary gender was like their personality, already fixed in their mother’s bellies. They posed the hypothesis that a baby who was docile in the womb could present as omega and a one that kicked their mothers very much would later be an alpha, and they were very eager to test this theory with Adrienne’s pre-natal testing tubes.

Today, Adrienne was extracting some cells and then she would try to stimulate the DNA to activate and to see if there were factors that would influence either of the three secondary genders to be triggered into forming within an unborn child. She would do so outside of the womb so the actual pup could develop normally, though she was already planning on how and with which chemicals to trigger the gene to develop a dominant hereditary transmission.

Dean asked what this meant and she explained it to him with the example of blood types.

“You have A, B, and 0, right? A and B together make AB, but they are both dominant over 0, so a child with the genetic information of an A parent and a 0 parent would always be A. We need to find out how the secondary gender becomes dominant. If there is a stimulant or a certain magnetic resonance. Maybe it also pretends on the heart beat rate. Docile babies have a lower heartbeat. Perhaps that triggers the gene. I need to test that.”

“But what if we find out that it really can be influenced?” Eleanor asked after Pamela’s test was over and they had assured her that she would give birth to a boy in a short while. “What would it mean if we find out we can trigger the secondary gender by a stimulant? Wouldn’t that knowledge be potentially detrimental if it became public?”

“Ellie, love,” Adrienne had walked over and had held her research partner tight. “How about you worry about dystopian scenarios if we really find out something like that, hm?” to which Eleanor had nodded and they had worked on between the four of them, pushing the feeling down. There was no reason to worry about that possibility yet.

 

They had a quite a few probands now. Becky and Ava, their first, had been delivered of a little girl, which Adrienne, which the help of lawyers, had fought tooth and nail to be declared as biologically theirs and had succeeded after the pup was half a year old.

There had been a huge scandal because of the first known baby that had two mothers, but it had also brought the study some renown because more same primary/secondary gender parents brought their children in to have them tested. It turned out that it was the case that most children of these kinds of couples were indeed the biological offspring of both it‘s parents and not of a connection of the mates with another person.

Immediately, groups got founded which claimed that the children of these connections were degenerates and by the time Cas’ winter break rolled around, most people in the inner country ran around with badges that stated: “Pure borns are mixed gender ONLY” the slogan of the most prominent anti ‘primary/secondary same sex’ group, because they just chose to not believe in the growing scientific evidence.

Along the coast lines though, clinics got opened where other doctors came to the same results as their study and they had supporters and data collectors all over the country now.

There were however a lot of boycotters in front of the Lawrence healing facility from which the ‘new societal evil’ sprung, and Richard Moseley had to organise a security service which still allowed them to continue their work. As they left the healing facility to go home and bake some cookies for the kids, Dean growled at everyone who came too close to him, because they knew he was involved in the research.

Furthermore, they had had to build a high fence around their properties because vandalisms occurred too often and it was nothing like the breaking and entering of Lenore’s pack a while ago. There was one memorable day, when Dean had just fitted a new window into a frame and another protestor put a stone through it immediately along with trying to wreck everything on the property.

For the first time ever, Dean was glad that Cas was as far away as he was and he only got to witness the full force of people’s hate against the potential change, that their breakthrough in research meant for society, while he was home now.

Cas had passed all his courses with straight As and was getting ready to take on just as many courses in his next semester, so his first degree would take him at least one semester less than it was usual. “Everything helps you when you’ve got a goal,” he said. The goal being: to finish studying as fast as he could, so he and Dean could finally officially be mates.

There was little enough to do for Cas off campus anyway, so his immense study load didn‘t faze him at all. Most students of the general Harvard university didn’t take any omega scholars seriously so they didn’t consider them worth talking to and most of the cafés or bars off campus had a strict non-omega clientele policy. They didn’t wanna risk public claiming on their pool tables or mop up the mess left by slick on the seats, or so he said.

So, most nights Cas stayed in the dormitory or in the library. He hung out with other omegas, Andy his roommate among them most of the time who had grown into a rigorous omega campaigner after the shock about his brother had worn off . They generally kept pretty much to themselves and tried to ignore bad mouthing about their secondary gender which they sometimes overheard. Cas seemed happy, though Dean knew him well enough to see that something was up whenever he called him with a scrunched brow or squinty eyes.

Talking about it always helped Cas, but it filled Dean with useless unproductive anger to hear about the commonplace daily discrimination that omegas faced alongside what he was experiencing first hand at home right now.

As they got back home, Cas told him about how he had met a student who had transferred from one of the omega schools in the middle of the country, who had reported a state that was much worse then the latent discrimination that Cas was faced with. There were no brutality or gang rapes where he studied, which was far from a given apparently.

Their study about biology had made matters worse everywhere, so Dean’s neat plan of keeping the state of things at home from him until he actually saw what happened was out the window anyway. Alphas who felt afraid about their state of dominance enforced it even more viciously now. The fear of the general societal order being undermined, had produced an even more inhuman conduct of alphas against other genders. Everyone who was involved with the research felt guilty for the effects that their work had caused, but they all hoped and prayed that matters had to grow worse before they got better and they just had to hang in there for a while.

 

With all that had been set in motion and was looking so very overwhelming most of the time, Dean’s pack still found their little moments of happiness. Business was still good, the food and alcohol that the roadhouse served too good to shun, and Bobby’s garage and Crowley’s auto business still going well for the lack of other addresses to go to. It was just like Missouri had said to Mary when Dean was still in kindergarten: If they didn’t like it, they could always open their own which never happened in the end. The guests and customers may grumble and say mean things, but they didn’t stay away.

The younger girls had been mightily scared when people started coming to their houses and shouted mean stuff at them; not even Ellen’s brash nature ever really kept them off for long. That was until Crowley, who could be really terrifying when he was angry, calmly told all the trespassers and protestors off before he would feed them their own intestines while he wouldn’t even get a drop of their bile on his shoes.

Some of them had laughed when the average sized, seemingly friendly man had threatened them, but when Crowley hadn’t even flinched and just stared at them intently while he instructed Bobby to get the guns and knifes, the cowards took off in fear.

Bobby and Crowley did this act a few times, functioning as one, to show that they were prepared to raise some hell if their family was further threatened and Dean was quietly glad that he hadn’t ever made one of them really angry. Gradually, the tale of the vicious king of used cars and his trusted base-capped mate spread among the ranks of protestors and fewer and fewer people came by. Even fewer when Crowley went out and came back with a few vicious-looking black dogs that barked loudly at everyone who wasn’t a member of their human pack. Dean was pretty scared of the dogs at first but then he found out that they were friendly to his pack and that the younger ones simply adored the animals, and gradually his reserve gave way, particularly because they accepted Cas without resolve as one of theirs even though he had only been back a very short while.

On Jo’s presentation birthday on which he had come back, the dogs sniffed Cas, and then bared their bellies to him, accepting him as one of their own even though he didn’t share the familiar pack scent yet.

Jo’s birthday didn’t hold nearly as many surprises as Dean’s and it turned out to be a really nice party, even more so because Cas was there too. On the next school day after the weekend, Dean declared Jo his personal hero, when she marched into alpha edu, smelling very much alpha-y and flipped Alistair the bird before she escorted herself to the next higher alpha edu class.


	5. So far from okay

“So all this happened and you never mentioned anything?” Cas asked, turning to face Dean while lying square across his stomach, reading a book while Dean lazily stroked his back.

He saw Dean nervously squirm and avert his face with a jerk of his neck and quip: “Didn’t wanna worry you.”

“Well I _am_ , more so because you didn’t tell me,” Cas shut his book and sat up to face Dean. “The fence, the guard dogs, those people outside of the healing facility?”

“I know, right? It’s crazy.”

“Still doesn’t change the fact that you should have told me,” Cas mumbled.

“Guess I wanted to protect you from it. And I had hoped things would have stopped by now, but then Adrienne actually managed to have Ava and Becky’s pup be declared as theirs and people got even more vicious, now they can’t pretend like we’re crazy outcasts anymore.”

“The outcasts have been brought to the light for everyone to see that there’s nothing wrong with them. Why are people so afraid of change?”

“Because they think if they’re not in control anymore, we’ll treat them like they always treated us?” Dean suggested and Cas thought that he hit very close to the mark.

“And they’re also afraid of what would happen if they aren’t viewed as superior anymore. Afraid of losing social standing and be like the rest of the people.”

“But why is it so hard to think of us as their equals?” Dean included himself naturally in the group of people that weren’t part of the elite group of alphas, just because his thoughts and scent were different.

“Because then they wouldn’t be privileged anymore. It has to be hard for someone who has lived with being treated better than the majority to see themselves on the verge of losing it. That’s just how humans are. There is never total equality because someone, _somewhere_ always wants to have more than what his peers have.”

“But look at us. We have so much more than what the others have. Family, friends, someone we truly love. Why do we have to fence ourselves in to keep that? Why is it nicer to be on the smaller side of the fence than on the outside? Humans, man. They suck.”

“By and large,” Cas nodded before thinking about what he had just admitted to be true. “Sooner or later they’ll see that we were right and then they won‘t behave like a bunch of morons anymore.”

“You think? Do you really believe they will ever get with the program? I think it might be too late by then and I’ll not forgive people like Alistair or Lenore’s mother,” he crossed his arms, chewing his bottom lip until Cas felt complied to pull it out from between Dean’s teeth and rake his teeth fondly at it himself.

“Don’t be bitter. It doesn’t suit you. Show me your smile,” Cas whispered, feeling Dean noticeably react to being nibbled at, as he gasped loudly and turned Cas around.

“It suits me just fine. Admit that you love it when I pout,” he growled, his lips on Cas’ neck to make sure he’d admit it just for Dean to keep going.

“Only if you say the same,” he swallowed heavily, his fingers in Dean’s hair.

“Easy. I love it when you pout, makes you look adorable. Same as how you are right now. Your lips swollen, and your whole face filled with desperation.”

Cas gulped when Dean rubbed his chest through his t shirt, softly tweaking his nubs, and moaning louder and louder.

“I am desperate,” Cas admitted, hooking his legs over Dean’s lower back because his mouth just kept going lower and lower, grinding his body against him as he got lower, his hips already out of reach to hook onto. “I wish we could just…,” he bucked up into him. “I wish I were a beta!” Cas almost shouted now.

“Why’s that?” Dean stopped what he was doing and came back to eye level.

“Because then I would be happier. We could just rub off or suck off and I’d be content. But we just fit together too perfectly. My whole body aches to have you inside of me. It‘s never going to be enough until we can,” he said, clutching Dean’s face and directing his mouth onto his hungrily for a long minute before he went on: “It’s like I’m dying of thirst and you tie me over with a few drops so that I don’t die, but I am always thirsty, always wanting more. Do you have that too? Is it as bad for you as it is for me?” Cas urged.

“You’re talking to the person who nearly mated with himself because I can’t bite you,” Dean answered. “But also no. It’s not as bad that I feel I’m wilting on the inside since I can’t have you like that. I‘m happy when I come, and you sure look that way too,” he whispered, feeling like he was insufficient because he couldn’t make Cas feel better.

“I am,” Cas assured him. “But just a minute after, it’s as if nothing had ever happened and you’re still so far away and I’m hollow. And even now that I‘m here, it‘s never like it should be, because I don‘t get wet because of the suppressants. It‘s all wrong,” he groaned, closer to a sob than before.

“Hey,” Dean nuzzled him. “Let me know what you want? How can I help you?”

“It’s difficult when you’re right here,” Cas thought about how he had no problem admitting all the things he wanted from him when he wasn’t within reaching distance and how impossible it was to have it even now. “I could tell you, I wish I was gaping and spilling slick while you’re rocking into me, but what’s the point? You’re right here and we’re not doing that, so I don’t even have the comfort to imagine it.”

“I had no idea it was all so hard on you,” Dean felt himself really crumble on the inside now that he noticed how Cas longed for him and he couldn’t fulfil his need in any lasting way. That stung him more than the embargo on sex they had to put upon themselves and now that he saw clearly how much Cas suffered, he felt the same disappointment at not being able to keep his omega happy and satisfied.

They were already so linked in Dean reacting to Cas’ misery by being equally afflicted that he thought that the stupid bite didn’t even matter at all because the inherent mate connection was already there.

“I really wanna give you everything you want and deserve,” he let Cas know. “It’s only because I know how much you want to be a doctor that I hold this back. I just love you like that.”

“I know,” Cas answered. “And it’s only because I love you that I can keep going even though my body aches for you.”

“And doing it the other way around wouldn’t help you, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Cas blinked, obviously not understanding him.

“You know, just you _in_ me.”

“What? Oh you mean…,” Cas seemed to consider, feeling what his body made of that, but then he shook his head. “That wouldn’t be sufficient.”

“So, we’re at a dead end again,” Dean was downcast, resting his forehead on Cas’ chest until he came up with an idea. “Did you bring a toy?”

“Yes, I did in fact.”

“I could you know…,” he blushed, real life intercourse still feeling different than just playing with each other with words and too far away to touch. Dean rolled his eyes about his virginity act, to not even get the words: ‘Fuck you with your toy’ out.

“You’re red in the face,” Cas purred. “Did you think of something naughty?”

“I did, as a matter of fact. I wanna test how you’d feel when I’m the one putting your toy into you.”

Now it was Cas’ turn to blush. “But you’ve never seen me naked!”

“I’ve seen you naked plenty of times.”

“But only on video cam.”

“Shouldn’t be any different.”

“It’s widely different,” Cas disagreed. “You know what happened the last time we did anything, and we weren’t even completely naked then.”

“Are you resisting because you want it too much? Listen, if I stay out of this, not become aroused and only do it for your benefit, then it should be fine, right? Perhaps we shouldn‘t overthink this too much,” he climbed off the bed, got his own bottle of lubricating liquid while Cas reluctantly pulled out a dick shaped heat toy for omegas.

“Maybe it’s enough when my hand is doing it, and you won’t know what’s coming? Can you close your eyes?” Dean mumbled.

Cas nodded, trusting him immensely, his breath hitching when he felt Dean’s hands on his hips, brushing down his trousers while he kept his eyes tightly shut.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Dean’s voice reached his ears as he felt his legs bent up and Dean’s fingers softly gliding down the skin of his thighs until they found his middle.

Cas pressed the balls of his hands to his eyes, so big was the temptation to look at Dean down there, but since they had decided that he wouldn’t look, he was helplessly receiving pleasure from Dean’s fingers gliding into him.

“I wish you’d know how good this feels,” he moaned, Dean’s digits pumping his cock and pressing the sweet spots inside him. “I wish I could slick up to show you how much I love it.”

“I’d drown in it,” Dean chuckled. “But it’s good that you don’t. If I’d smell your heat, I wouldn’t be able to hold back. Now just lie back and let me do this for you.”

Cas nodded, tangling his sweaty fingers together so that they didn’t slip of his eyes when he felt a blunt pressure at his hole.

“That’s it,” he moaned when Dean slowly pushed the toy in. “It’s so hot. The toy, I mean. Everything else too, but the toy...”

“I know,” Dean chuckled. “Because I warmed it up before I did this. Does it make you feel good?” he tugged the toy along unexpectedly and Cas felt like something he’d missed fell into place. He didn’t know when the next wave of pleasure would come, because it wasn’t he who was doing this and that felt incredible.

“Fuck,” Dean panted when he felt Cas come into his hand, the toy rocking uncontrollably from how hard Cas clenched around it.

“I need to go, fuck. I’m so sorry,” he shouted as he bolted out of the door and locked himself in the bathroom, unzipping and jerking off furiously clutching the sink in a death grip and screaming from pain as he came.

“Ou, ah! Ouuu,” he nearly cried when his knot hung at the base of him, his cock limp and useless.

“Dean? Are you alright?” Cas’ voice swept through the door.

“I’m fine. Just gimme a minute,” he groaned, trying as best as he could to get his hurting knot to deflate, but hissing whenever he touched the purple skin so that in the end he had to exit the bathroom, naked from the waist down, his jeans discarded in the hamper.

“That looks painful,” Cas had waited outside the door and reached out to touch Dean.

“Don’t. Please,” he flinched away, knowing how much it hurt. “It’s fine, I’ll just put on sweatpants or something else that’s wider.”

He walked past Cas, rummaging in the stack of clothes he kept here and finding an old pair of sweatpants that must have been left by his dad before he left because they were bigger than anything he’d ever seen around here.

“I’m sorry,” Cas said ruefully, standing in the door and nearly crying over how unfair this all was.

“Don’t be. I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep it together. Was it good at least? What you wanted?”

“Nearly,” Cas nodded. “But I will not let you do this to yourself again. Why did that hurt you so much? Have you any idea?”

“I don’t know. I don’t wanna think this, but maybe Alistair was right about one thing. Maybe it hurts too much when you pop a knot outside of someone.”

“Maybe it swells too much? And if you press it inside a hole it can only inflate so much?” Cas suggested, reminded of the angry purple that Dean now hid inside his trousers.

“Could be. Give and take kinda thing. I’d like it if that’s how our biology had intended it. The alpha gives his omega what he needs, and in turn the omega takes care of his alpha so that he can come without pain,” he chuckled towards the end.

“I really wanna kiss you right now,” Cas’ breath hitched, but he remained standing in the door frame, looking to all the world like he was ready to bolt.

“It’s ok. Come here,” Dean crooked his index finger and Cas came over taking both his hands and slowly stroking up his lower arms. “Just… watch the nards,” Dean whispered and winked.

“Of course,” Cas gave back, his eyes filled with something that Dean found hard to describe. It seemed more than love tinted with a side of remorse for hurting him unknowingly, but he couldn’t quite place what it was.

“What is it? Tell me, baby.”

“I don’t know if I can do this. I can’t be afraid of hurting you every time because I’m a poor excuse for an omega and I’m not good enough.”

Dean wanted to interrupt him, say that it was all bullshit, but Cas shook his head gently when he opened his mouth, his fingers on Dean’s lips.

“I’m not sure we’re ok, anymore. I need to think about some stuff. And… I’m going home early. I can’t do something like this again. You bit yourself because of me,” Cas carefully placed his fingers over Dean’s bandage, hiding his tooth marks inside his own skin. “And now you can hardly stand up straight because your knot hurts you so much.”

“Not true,” Dean shook his head, only now realising how much he leaned on Cas at the moment. He tried to stand up, but hissed when he tried, pressing the palm of his hand against his knot, hissing again as he did. “You’re not going home if you go back to college. You’re running _from_ home. From _me_ ,” he got angry because Cas was right and he knew it. They couldn't keep this up, the level of desperation was too high already.

“When are you coming back?” he groaned, his hand on the side of Cas’ neck, shaking him slightly and his eyes watering. “Tell me you’re coming back!” he bit out, the emotion making his voice topple over.

“I’ll be back. Find us a good case over spring break. And maybe bring Sam or Jo with you, so we can’t be alone.”

Dean sniffed loudly, dragging in a very hurting breath: “I love you!”

“I know you do. And I love you too,” Cas said quietly, leaning his forehead against Dean’s, pecking him once but then loosening Dean’s hold on his body, walking out the door without another glance back, only slightly hesitating when he opened the door, but then going through it.

“Ou,” Dean whimpered, holding his crotch and sinking down on his knees, his forehead hitting the ground as he cried from a multiple set of stinging pains in his body. “Ouuu. Caaaas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this takes so long to update now, but rest assured it's not abandoned nor will this be the last part. I just have too much to do atm and this takes a whole lot of concentration to give it what I think it needs and deserves. I don't want to half-ass this.


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